Amgen: "This is NOT a train-wreck."In a press conference held in Washington, D.C., Amgen Corporation “set the record straight for once and for all,” in the words of their Marketing Director, who spoke on condition of remaining anonymous.
“Ignorant whiners have been spreading slanderous and libelous rumours to the effect that the above photo, taken at Amgen’s GDNF warehouse, indicates that there has been a train wreck, a disastrous derailment, in Parkinson’s research”, said the company hack. “Nothing could be further from the truth. There is not, and has never been, a train wreck in that photo. In unloading boxcars, that is how we always do it. That is the routine. That is how we planned it. To save space, first we stack the boxcars, then we unload them. Anyone with an intelligence level above that of a spastic or a ‘tard can see that everything at Amgen is in accordance with the Best Practices in the drug trade.”
In reply to question from a reporter, the Amgen hack replied, “That’s another unacceptable slander. The fact that the two train engineers were found squashed flat as pancakes has nothing whatsoever to do with Amgen. There was no legal connection between Amgen and the people who got crushed. And in any case, both engineers had pre-existing medical conditions that made them highly susceptible to sudden flattening. Their deaths had nothing whatsoever to do with Amgen, or trains, or anything other than their own stupidity. They were probably morally and mentally inferior specimens – we will know more about that after the autopsy.”
The anonymous Amgen spokes-entity, wearing a mask that showed only bloodshot eyes and purple lips, drooling slightly, said, “we are not about to start listening to advice from a bunch of cripples and sick people, especially those with brain damage. The patients should remember their place in the triage pecking order, and should learn not to bite the hand that holds the scalpel. You may feel brave at the keyboard of your computer, but once we get you under anaesthetic, you will find out who has the most education, and the power to make final decisions about your pathetic life and your imminent death. I didn’t spend 8 years in post-graduate studies just to listen to ignorant complaints from peasants.”
The Amgen spokes-entity was supported by representatives from the Association of Corporate Bio-Ethicists, the Parkinson’s Research Cartel, the Parkinson’s Industry Marketing Agency and the Las Vegas Chamber of Commerce.
“There has been no train wreck in Parkinson’s Research,” they concluded, unanimously. “The photographic evidence is conclusive. There is no train wreck in that photo. Move along. Nothing to see here. Move along. This is private property. Do as we say. The law is on our side. The Ethics Committee made the rules and enforces them. Shut up, take your levodopa, sit in the chair, and stare at the wall. Someone will be around to spoon-feed you at 6, unless there is something good on TV in the employee’s cafeteria.”
The press conference was hosted and catered by the NIH, who hand out $200 million a year of taxpayers money to research Parkinson’s Disease, especially as it relates to pickled herring, chocolate, gambling, and other smoke-screens and false directions that maintain the illusion that there is a war against Parkinson’s. The only treatment accepted by the PD industry is levodopa, which became one of the most profitable drugs in the world 50 years ago, selling $3 billion per year, much cheaper than the many other drugs that are required to reduce the side effects caused by levodopa. The full extent of Parkinson’s Industry income and research expenditure is not public knowledge.
“Levodopa is the Gold Standard”, said the hooded company spokes-entity. “At least for us, it is pure gold. Why would we want to change anything? It’s going great. Things have never been better for us.”
Repeat after me: “There is no train wreck in this photograph. Nothing to see here. Move along. There has never been a train wreck. There is no evidence of anything unusual. There is no train wreck in that photograph. Everything was planned to bring about this result. It’s how we always do it. There is no train wreck in that photo. Anyway, it’s none of your damn business.”
We send thanks and gratitude to NICK NELSON. He ripped off the lid; he shined a light in a dark corner; the corporate strategy did not anticipate that someone would methodically start to reveal their lies, their incompetence, and the ruthless savagery of their primitive, self-serving actions.
The brave patients who took on the world’s biggest biotechnology company for the right to be kept alive:
More Monkeys in the Middle speak out:
Lynn Walton Waters
Replies to Amgen’s pseudo-science
ANDY GROVE: WE LOVE YOU.
Speech at the Society for Neuroscience
Speech at the Society for Neuroscience
Grassroots Responses - 5/22/2006 Pipeline urges Amgen's Board of Directors to take action. On May 5th, GDNF advocates sent the following letter to Amgen’s Board of Directors and CEO Kevin Sharer, requesting specific action from sponsoring company Amgen. No reply has been received as of May 22, 2006. READ THE LETTER!
Trust in the current informed consent process is broken. Why, we ask, should we risk our lives for a company that abandons patients at the first sign of risk to their profits?
They are withholding data that undermines their decision to halt the trial.
Many improved dramatically from GDNF treatment, rising from wheelchairs to return to work and to take care of home and family.
In essence, they gave their brains to science while still alive.
After thoroughly reviewing published scientific evidence and interviewing trial researchers and patients, we can only conclude that the decision to halt the trial was based on hasty, ultimately faulty data analysis with an eye on the bottom line.
In the process, we discovered enough new information to call into question Amgen’s safety claims.
Researchers who disagreed with Amgen were not allowed to attend, despite our request for their presence..
Amgen has proven to patients it cannot be trusted. The company not only foreclosed on the future of the trial patients, it also clouded the future of millions of others.
Patients are now fearful to take part in any clinical trial.
We must know the truth.
Court case: Suthers et al v. Amgen 1
Court case: Suthers et al v. Amgen II
The doctors who took care of the patients denounce Amgen’s pseudo-science.
Conference call: Federal Drug Adminstration
The drug was working dramatically well, doctors said: not much wonder Amgen applied for a new patent on the drug 8 days later: the doctors and scientists Amgen paid to do the study were enthusiastic that the drug worked so well.
Exhibit A in court: Dr. Michael Hutchinson passes the Litmus Test.
Dr. Michael Hutchinson exposes… what shall we call it? Science fraud? Or was it science incompetence?
More monkeys in the Middle speak out
Parkinson’s associations react
Monkeys In The Middle
Perhaps Amgen was banking on the fact that PWP often have memory loss. Sorry, Harvard MBA’s, you have to learn to read the science papers more carefully. We suffer short-term memory loss at times: but long-term memory, ah, that is different. We have elephant memory. Which means we remember for the rest of our lives. And especially, elephants remember who treated them well, and who exploited them but did not care if they lived or died. Hear that sound? Feel the ground shake? It’s a huge herd of elephants, coming back to reclaim their ivory. And you can’t outrun them. It’s another little item they don’t teach at Harvard Business School: there are magnificent expensive houses built on sand, but they wash away in the first big rainstorm, because they have no foundation.